30 things heard on the tube


1) It hasn't escaped anyone's attention

2) See, I'm the complete opposite

3) I mean up and up, this is so ridiculous. I'm sorry man.

4) Yeh she's serious about psychology

5) Suck it up I've been here since 6am without a break

6) I knew it was 900 but I felt really bad. It was all scrunched up.

7) You should judge people by their intrinsic values, not their ego

8) They said that I didn't do that

9) I have no idea where I've gone because I always go to the bigger places

10) Three years in a row

11) Are you going to execute it?

12) I don't even get that much from my mum

13) He buys weed off me, he buys anything off me.

14) That time of the year where I just get home and I'm like no. It's too cold to move.

15) I mean, I went to Brazil, and they're not so cool in Brazil. But if you're gonna do South America, you should do South America. Do you see what I'm saying.

16) There's a 3 percent chance.

17) She's a very honest person. She's a bit like Jenny.

18) And basically I've just completely worn away the cartridge behind my knee cap

19) And I laughed and said, thank you for your kind words

20) He was young, he was good looking, riveting

21) Man doesn't know how to write but if he did he would keep a diary

22) The bathrooms smelled like family holidays

23) If I ran my finger up and down it I would see the light move

24) Missy Elliot needs a slap on the ass. She's trying it.

25) Another failed something

26) Spray the salmon with oil and then the Nando's rum

27) And sometimes I get scared because it's my only hope. I'm waiting for her. Anyway man I'll call you later.

28) People are dramatic because they just want to be heard. The easiest way to gain sympathy is by telling everyone how terrible things are.

29) He's physically Turkish but mentally German.

30) Why the fuck are we in London. We've come from fucking Rochester. This was your fucking idea mate.


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